Confused Feelin

Okay, back again after so long been abandoning this blog (which not supposed to coz I vowed myself to update it n not losing the ID this time)

Been back to business again after so long been hibernating. Yeah.. You guys can see me as some sort of person who take things for granted, but I actually do think so too. I'm hating it for sure, but I also cannot deny such facts too.

I'm 24, but I don't think that I've done something that can make my mom proud at all. It's been more than 5 years after my dad passed away and since then I've been living life in full mask. A smiling, laughing mask that actually makes me sick everytime I'm under it. Been too long living a deceiving live that I don't know who am I anymore. It's been me for all these time and it's also been a habit too. Even if I'm hurt, I only can smile, or worse, laugh it of that ppl think that I'm too carefree.

But actually I'm not. And the worst thing is that I'm not doing anything to make it right at all.

Anyway, back to what I'm actually wanna share now. It's that I'm actually (might) gonna get a job!!! After 3 months of fully unemployed (apart from the time I'm doing this and that freelancing), I'm actually gonna work again.

The thing is that... I'm actually not quite sure about it. I started to apply on the company as a Junior Secretary though I'm actually not quite sure about my qualification for that too. It's just that the salary they offeri is quite above the average companies out there, especially in Jakarta. And I need financial independence. Also I'm already bored as hell at home, waiting for my freelance works.

So on Tuesday morning, I woke up by the ring of my phone, saying that they want to interview me at 2 pm. So I'm going (with a bit lost here and there on my way. Hahhaa). And when I'm arrived there, I get a shock therapy coz actually the company that asked me to come is the kind of company that I 'run away from'. But after all, I already there, so I think 'Why not stay and see 1st?'

And there I was, on my 3rd day of training. And they want me to becoma a Trainer. Look how funny it is? From one position to another. Well not that I don't like it, but I just feel that it's funny that it's like that. And now I must think whether I'll take it or not.

I have my own consideration for accepting or not the job, apart from the 'great views' there, a lovely friend I made during my training days, my boredom, and my financial condition. After all, I don't wanna have anymore regret in working anywhere anymore.

Oh well... I hope (and MUST) update about it on Monday.

Cheers,

Shin