Fascination

Starting the first post in this new year with a bit of thinking. Am I think too much? I doesn't matter. So here's the actual post:

There is a word that fascinate me at a while, therefore I tried to find a meaning behind the word itself.

1. The capability of eliciting intense interest or of being very attractive.
2. The state of being intensely interested or attracted: listened in fascination.
3. An intensely interesting, attractive quality or trait.
4. strong attraction; charm; allure

Reading at the definition that I conjure up from several dictionaries, they have one similarity, which is CHARM. And I thought, “Ah… so that’s what it makes it an attractive word to use”. I also think of several things at once, that in this life, we might cross something that fascinate us to the point of nothing else matters. Will there be a hobby, a thing, or even a person.

Since I like to think about a person point of view, I would like to think that every person definitely have something that can fascinate other people. Perhaps it’s their way of thinking, the way they speak, their eyes, lips, the little things they do, even the simple thing that they doesn’t even notice but we know it just by heart. Fascinated, isn’t it? Does that makes you think of someone special to you at the moment? I bet so. After all, people are love-based person. No matter who they are, they must have someone they cherish.

I’m writing this to actually ‘waking up’ my emotion from its slumber, but it doesn’t seem to work at all. Why I’m saying sleeping emotion? Well, I guess it’s just because I’m feeling numb with emotion. It’s feels like I got this big black void in where my emotion should be. What kind of emotion? Does that means that I’m just one lump of dolls that breathe, work and gone through life just as it is? I think so too. I think, I want to feel, but I don’t really feel. Weird as it may sound; it’s real as I gone through it. I easily lose interest of something, and cruising from one point of interest to another.

It’s just as if I want to say, “I miss you so much” but to whom? I don’t even know who I miss being with. It’s not that I got a large number of friends, but it’s just as if each of them carry one piece of things that I miss, and that I long to find someone that carry all of the pieces. I can feel it humming in my body, that each and every cell of it is calling his name that even my brain and tongue hasn’t recognize. A song older than universe is calling out the lover in everyone, to match each other, to create a more beautiful sound. There’s a saying: “Love is out there; it’s just not easy to find. If it was, it wouldn’t be worth it when you finally find it”. So… should I wait a bit more, patiently this time?.