2011 – Those time I got stronger

I try to look back to year 2011, recalling all the events that passed through my life with a big disappointment. Why? I can’t really recall all of them, but the emotion is there. And the conclusion of them all is… It’s just another disappointment that eventually makes me stronger, or is it numbness that I feel from all of those what I’ve experienced? I just can’t determine it at all.

Everyone have a past that they need to move one and forget about completely, but not the lesson they got from those experiences. And that’s what I learn. But I think I’ve gone astray with the lesson, just because I got no one beside me for quite some time. Not that I’m blaming them, but just a saying that I still can’t really live by myself without doing stupid things. One and my foremost mistake are to block my feeling. I notice that when I can’t feel a bit sympathize or sad or even genuinely happy of thing happening around me. I just put another mask on me. And I only feel… remorseful?

I found this on my journey through the unseen web aka the internet of one of my friend’s blog (tumblr):

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all; live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

While I read it, I realized that perhaps this is what’s missing from my life before. What I didn’t realize earlier. So… I decide that one of my resolution for this year is… to learn how to live again.

Wish me luck :)
  

"So people, celebrate your life, even though life is full of twists, turns, highs, lows, ups and downs, it’s still beautiful! Enjoy the ride, set up your beautiful attitude. You’ll be fine, you’ll be safe! And God would be waiting at the end of the track, proud..!!"

Becky Tumewu