One of those dark days

Tears are the way your body express what your heart can't say.

Have you ever feel like crying without knowing the reason why? It's just when you stop suddenly, and the tears are just flowing freely from your eyes without you can stop. I had one of those days too, and for me, it is just the way my own body said to me: "enough of being tough girl. Now you take rest and succumb to it. We'll make it through tomorrow."

Do you know that the saddest thing is being sad without expressing yourself of being sad? Or in another word, the saddest thing is just to hold yourself back from whatever emotion you are experiencing, whether it is sadness, joy, anger, disappointment, etc. It is called self-suppression. I, myself suppress a lot of those things, especially the bad things because I just don't want to feel bad about anyone. But, well... some time, all hell's are just need to break loose. When you suppress something or try to jumble up anything into a closet, no matter how expandable it is, it will break apart and all the things you suppressed will just pop out and make a mess of itself, leaving you in a clutter of junk.

Then... why have to suppress ourselves then? Why not let it loose and stop stressing ourselves?

Well... There are something that are bound to happen when we reach adulthood. or perhaps it can came earlier to some others. Suppressing your emotion is one of the thing called understanding. Accepting that not everything we want we can get is one of the earliest lesson in our life. Especially when the parent are not the 'super rich' type. As a kid, we are somehow forced to understand that, and those situation can lead into a habit of not telling what you actually wanted.
Reaching teenage years, some of us will get into a rebellious state, while others are keeping their lesson in the childhood intake. For the rebellious ones, parents are often get angry, not knowing what actually drives the kids mad like that. Almost majority of parents will do things like, yelling, get angry, saying things that are not supposed to be said in front of their child. And all parents know what exactly the kids will say, right. Roughly saying, they talk back. But unconsciously, parent hurt their child's heart, that will be carried on until they reach their adulthood.
So, basically saying, suppressing ourselves is a common sense taught by society ever since we were born in this world. It's just the portion of holding back ourselves are different from one another.

Well, from my point of view, the one that can suppress themselves better are women. Because women are such an emotional being, and they cared deeply for others. We are not saying those who are not, but majority of women are just like that. And being a jumble of emotional being is... hard. For me, they are the strongest creature in the earth that can bear pain more than any living being, say it physically or emotionally.

I can proudly say that today is one of the day I just want to succumb to my own jumbled up emotion and cry my eyes out. No worries for I will clear up the bad feeling and be another cheerful me tomorrow (well, I hope so).