As promised, I'm sticking through my resolution of 2012 which writing every month.
So here I am, writing non-sense I guess, but whatever.
I'm looking through the days in this 2012, and didn't really expect me to go through this year with a lot of complication at first, but it's a smooth sailing for now. Both life and love. The latter makes me giggle every time I remember.
Perhaps it was the month of love, or we just clicked each other, but it's funny to think of anything except how we ended up together now. The difference between us before and how we going with such things with indifferent attitude, perhaps will become a stone mark in our life to come.
I actually no longer think about marriage life or such, just try to stroll through the day with deliverance. Whom I met, who I'm close with, who I think about, who I care about, and every who that has passed or still in my life, they made me who I am right now and who I will be. But I believe that all that will makes me a better person.
Last month is a review for me that any in-deliberate action could result in people dislike you in such strong emotion that they can try to bring you down with whatever way they can do. Including or should I said, back-stabbing, which unsuccessful. I try to think back of what kind of action I did to them that makes them despise me, but all I can come up with is just that they are not professional enough to bring a wall between personal and professional life. So I decide to just ignore them. There is no merit for me in dwelling with such problem.
Last month too, I reap some seed that I throw. I met some block on my way that I'm feeling really down, but people around me that are been constantly cheered up by me or not, they really try to distract me from feeling those things. And yes, they succeed. I'm bounce up again, stronger than ever. It works being a good person and worth it, I tell you. Heart-warming hugs (even though it only came from afar, but I know they really mean it), cheering up words, even jokes keep coming to energized me. But I also realized that I miss something. An essential thing in my life that should have been there but hasn't come to me yet. Where I can rest myself and feel secure.
Funny. I'm sort of find it in an unexpected person that come back, knocking down the door into my life suddenly. Though the presence also not what people expected, but I know that the anchor is there. Wherever I'm sailing to anyplace, unknown, I feel secure since I know that the anchor is there with me. Anchor will always there, sit down in unseen place, but holding an important position in the ship. So, the stability I need, I found. And I have to thank him, my best friend, for being there.
Being a best friend does not means you have to know each other for a long period. It's just is. You feel it, deep down, that you are comfortable with few person and don't know how your heart will know that this person will never leave you. So, lucky I'm in love with my best friend, I should say that. Even when typing this, I'm feeling that this... unseen factor of my heart is fluttering and growing. Should anything comes between us, I feel that we can solve it like a mature person should. And I pray for it too.
So, I'm marching to cherish this March. Hope all's well
Love,
Shin
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