(Almost) End of June 2012

Back again with me....

After a while of not writing (and realize that this is NOT the only post of the month), I'm back again with my own life writing.

As I cruised down the road with my transport (public one, mind you), I suddenly realized that the end of the month is coming near. And that also this year already down by half. Yet, what have I accomplished all this time? A half year time is not a short time, yet it feels like it was yesterday that I decided to at least write this blog frequently. And yes, I met the goal up until this moment. Yay for me... A pet on my shoulder if you want to :)

This month is quite hectic for me. I'm trying to jot it down here:
Week 1. A reflection of my own relationship
 Yea.. It sucked. I tried to remember when was the last time 'he' contacted me, and being sweet. And the answer, up until today, I'm still lost but I decided not to care about it anymore.I decided that he's not worth of my time and concern. A struggling week indeed for me after knowing all the deceptiveness, the lying, the relationship he had with another girl lest it was an affair or not. And we're going on to another day....

Week 2. Collecting the crumble

After passing a hellish week of work and down-time, it's time for me to reflect a bit deeper. And collecting myself back. No. Actually I'm not crumbling. I just hurt. That's all. But I got a plan, and I bring it on to a successful mission. I dumped him with dignity, though I don't really care what he think of me anymore. I wished him happiness and blessing. And I got to know my caring friends. They supported me and told me over and over again that he's not worth my tears, my thought, anything from me. So I did that.

Week 3. Dusting up.

I'm back to the life of a single lady. Not that it got any different than the one I had with him, but the thing I missed most perhaps was our flirting time through messages. And that's all. At this time, I realized another thing again. That I was not ready yet for another relationship, and that's why I can gathered myself quick enough.
He contacted me again just to warn me not to be involved in his life and his 'girlfriend' (which I actually doubted, but nonetheless, they flirt and he use her photo as his BB ID whereas he never did it when he was with me)... Also there is another time when he contacted me just to tell me he got into an accident and that he was alone at home. A background song is heard through my ear "Only When You're Lonely".. Yes.. I decided that he only remember me only at that miserable time of his.

Week 4. Recalling happiness

Oh well... Here I am, in the almost end of this week, writing up my own life story for a month worth. A hectic week indeed which makes my head wanna blow up, with all the assignment, all the problem at work, while on the same hand, I noticed a pattern of him. Yes.. Moving on is not in my dictionary yet for now, but I just wanna make sure of things first. And yes, I think I got his MO already because of the intensive chat he got with his 'closer' one.
A problem arise at work on Monday, and I thought I will be "out" from this place ASAP. But the management said just yesterday that they will overlook this problem, once. For me, it was some sort of saying, 'Why don't I try to find another job from now?'
Mistakes and I never combine well. When I made mistakes, it always means that I already met my time limit there, and that I'm already sick of being there.

My next agenda: Holding on this job till December, while trying to find another job. I prefer to go out of this country. It's just because I want to see the world, and experiencing things.

So, now I'm grateful for all the journey I had this month, and I can hardly wait for next month to come for I know I will be a better woman by then.

_AS_