Looking at the life of someone else is just like seeing the neighbors' grass that always look greener. While I'm succumbing to other people's life, there must be others too that's envying mine. But too bad I can't see it.
It's my second day being at home... No.. I'm not being unemployed (again). Just taking a short break to calm my mind and see things through. The thing is... what I've been doing so far in my current company is something that most people going to think that I receive what I deserve, or close to it. But in fact, it's not exactly the case.
Perhaps for some people, what I lead is something that.... I supposed to be grateful of. I know that for sure. I'm grateful, but can't I dream of something... more? A dream won't hurt, especially when it involves other people, I believe. Not in a negative way, but in a positive one.
Is it wrong for me to wish for something better? Is it wrong for me to dream of an equality and justification of everything done? It's not like I;m doing a terrible job. In fact, I believe, and I already receive many compliments of my work, that I'm doing more than a great job. I'm marvelous so to say, without trying to sound pompous. And I know I deserve something better.
I've been thinking through these days, looking of what I've done so far, and I would say, "Is that is? Is it all I can get?" I'm surely wasting my time. But how to do things without breaking anything is beyond my power. I know if I take one step, another will once again crumble. But if I don't then I just don't know.
Well, this confuse me more so I'll just drop this off for now.
Ciao~
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