Life vs Death

It's Christmas Eve already. The jinx of doomsday for this year are already broken I guess. People are frantically saying that this December will be the doomsday, especially on the 21. And also there were rumors that on the 23 to 25 there will be no sun at all. Yet as I see, nothing of sort happened here, so I guess it's clear already that the doomsday is not on the said date. What did those people think actually that they readily believe such things, I will never know I guess.

Which giving me a thought of why it is really easy for people to be panicking over the end of the world or Armageddon or whatever they named it. Is it because they are not ready to die yet? Why? Are they not fulfilled enough of life? Don't they know that everything don't really matter, whether you prepare for a survival of some kind or not, if the doomsday really come? All things are futile I said, if that really come. Well... perhaps there could be survivors like during the ice age, or not. But once again, we will never know.

I am imagining what will happen if there are survivors. What if the people that pay really high to get rescued live and those who are not, not. They will be the top bosses, that usually do things with the help of their lovely assistant. What will their life be? Can they really survive? Don't they know their money value will worth... nothing when they surfaced? Not when the commoners who helped them in the daily activities gone.

My second scenario was... The people that has the bunker in their home also survives. What will it be when all of them submerge after the food get scarce? They will be forced to go hunt for food, back to the old days or stone age, I guess. Will the civilization be built again like that? Or will they eventually get tired with the harsh reality and wished that they didn't survived?

The thing is... Why people are so afraid of doomsday? Are they afraid of death? Why? Are there are things that they haven't done before? It is reasonable for children to think that way, but adults mind are... they making or more complicated, don't they?

But... If they are so afraid of death, why there are people who loves to embrace it earlier? Killing themselves and all just because of some things happened in their life? I am asking myself that very same question and the answer I can find out is that.. they are so afraid of living. Facing another day of the miserable life in this world is scarier to them rather than facing the unknown.

For me, it is far more better facing my life and the future I know not of, but it would be something I'm setting it up myself from now, rather than meeting death and don't know what it will be.Because life is what I've been going through each day. And death is... something unknown to me. So I am not really looking forward to it. After all, we are all going to die someday. So why hasten it when you can savor life?

Stand Up (Don't Give Up)

Lately I was watching an interesting drama titled "To the Beautiful You"

This drama was actually based on the manga "Hanazakari no Kimitachi e" and it already had several drama dome based on it too.

I don't wanna prolong writing since I also don't really know what to write these days, but there's a song I like  in the movie. It told us to stand up even though we've been down, raise your head and try once again.

Here's the video and the lyrics also the meaning.

English Translation:

Even if life is hard, don’t quit until the end
The sky will protect your side
Your footsteps are heavy, make some noise
You sink down and let out a sigh
But one more time, one more try

Look to the sky confidently
Now is just the beginning
Open your shoulders
Inside of you is someone like you
Don’t give up on your future even if it’s hard
Stand up, hold my hand, take the world

Like how petals fall when time passes
Clouds promise rain
Even if you’re struggling
It can change by whatever the sky wants
Don’t worry, never mind
Wait for that day

Look to the sky confidently
Now is just the beginning
Open your shoulders
Inside of you is someone like you
Don’t give up even if it’s hard, one more time
Stand up, hold my hand, stand up again (Stand up)

Stand up (Stand up)
Raise your head

Please don’t waver
Now is just the beginning
Open your shoulders
Don’t give up even if it’s hard, one more time
Stand up, hold my hand, stand up again

Observe and feel
Even if we’re different, my friend
You’re not alone, stand up again

Romanized:

Salmi himdeu-reodo kkeut-kkaji po-gi mara haneu-ri ne kyeo-seul jikyeojul keoya
Neoye bal-keo-reumi himkyeowo sori naeyeo jujeo-wanja hansum jiyeo bojiman
Hanbeon deo! One more try

Dangdang-ha-ge haneu-reul bwah ije shijagil ppuniya eokkae-l pyeo
Ne ane gateun ni-ga isseo himdeu-reodo po-gi mara neoye mirae
I-reona soneul jaba sesangeul kajyeo

Shi-gani heureumyeon -ggotipi tteo-reoji-deushi kureumeun bireul yakso-khae
Momburim chyeobwahdo haneulye ma-eumdaero tallajil su isseo donrsquo;t worry never mind
Keuna-reul gidaryeo

Dangdang-ha-ge haneu-reul bwah ije shijagil ppuniya eokkae-l pyeo
Ne ane gateun ni-ga isseo himdeu-reodo po-gi mara tashi hanbeon
I-reona soneul jaba tashi i-reona

I-reona ko-gael deu-reo oh oh wo-o
Jebal heunteu-lli-ji mara ije shijagil ppuniya eokkae-l pyeo
Ne ane gateun ni-ga isseo himdeu-reodo po-gi mara tashi hanbeon
I-reona soneul jaba tashi i-reona yeh yeh

Jikyeobwah neukkyeobwah seoro dareuda haedo my friend
Honja-ga aniya tashi i-reona

Translation Credits: kimchi hana
Romanizations by: kpoplyrics.net

A Review of Pedang Pora Ceremony, Cindo's Wedding

Eh? Seriously? I haven’t even post a single post this month? Ah.. I see.. Not because I haven’t write actually, but I wrote in my different blogs and other writing media. So.. Should I gather my mind strength for this one post, or should I just copy paste what I’ve wrote before? Nah.. I think that’s cheating. But I reaaaaly don’t have anything to write ‘cept rambling, so.. are you sure you gonna read it? Oh, well.. After all, this blog was actually my self-reflect one, so, why some opinion from you matter, eh? Umm.. so what should I write then.. I got no idea at all..  AhA! Eurekkaaa!!

A friend from my primary school got married just last week, with an unusual ceremony for us to see which is named: Upacara Pedang Pora (A Wedding ceremony using swords) Yes. Unique, isn’t it? It looks as if it was a military-slash-royalty wedding type. Well… the royal wedding type wouldn’t give you a glimpse of what you call a … trophy for marriage, would they? And yes, this ceremony got a ‘wedding trophy’ program. LoL. Weird enough? I find it funny but cute and unusual though. But it is a custom wedding ceremony held by a certain governmental institution in Indonesia. I’m actually curious as per whether the other institution will have such things or not.

Well.. The first was the entrance. I might not have a good documentation of it, but all in my memory, it is started with the troops coming in and forming a line. . The picture are just below.

 Then the bride and groom coming, through a gate made of swords while the groom is saluting

I actually forgot how the ceremony goes, with all the reporting to the commander and all… and suddenly the earlier troops forming a circle with the couple as its center.

Then another blank on my mind… (me got too excited with men in suits and uniform it seems) and they making a V-formation and proceed with the wedding trophy handing over by someone (I dunno what that person’s role actually :p)

As the party goes, the bride and groom are karaoke-ing! LoL. This is one wedding that I might never forget, just because.

Glittering Sun

Cold breeze
Dew drops
Clear sky
Sparkling world

I see pastel
I see brightness
I see colors
And everything nice

No more sadness
No more tears
Leave the worries
Let the happiness filled in

There's rainbow after the storm
There's hope after despair
Let us cheer up
Like the glittering sun.


-AASK 2012-

Another Rant in the early day

Do you think you're a superior when you are on top?
No. You're not.
Why? Because you are nothing without those people who support you from under.

What does a company consist of? Board of Directors? Commissioners? Managers? Well,,, never forget this one too.. The staffs.
A company could not exist without any worker that willing to work there. Ideas can only be realized when there is someone who make it happen. Even there is only one person who actually do it, it can also be called 'company'. Where there are 2 or more people working in a harmony, that also can be called a company.

So, what if there is a real company without a synergy, can it be called a company? Well... Yes.. That is no doubt a company, with a rotten inside. Many places I know are like that, because we are too idealistic. We have our own idea of being a 'boss' of our own. But basically, people got the tendency to 'want to be conquered', so it means that the possibility of we, obeying the rules are still there. Depend on what kind of rules and also who we have to listen to.

For me, who got a dominant number 8 outta 8, it is very hard for me to be obedience. I set my own rule and I want people to look after it. Not to be pompous, but I always try to make things easier for me and for people who actually read and follow it. I think now I'm getting out of track. Originally, I want to write to vent my anger, but I just realize that those people in my office doesn't even need to feel the privileged of me being mad. They're not within my league, my intellectual level is far too high to even try to understand them. They are just too stupid for me to understand.

Well.. Making myself realize that is enough for me. I know my patience level already increase 1 bar because of this incidence. So... Ciao for now. Phew

_Shin_

September 2012 Review

Well, since I got rid of the fictions I wrote earlier during the month, it seems that I haven't even write anything in this month about myself. LOL

So, I better get to this quick.

Ever since the event of Platina Parlour last month, I've been writing again, after so long been hibernating. It does seem that my skill got rusty though. Ahahaha ^_^;;
And because of that too, I met lots of cute brothers and sisters that surrounding me daily with their antiques. They always makes me laugh by their own jokes and their expression.

The first one would be Noe, the tsun butler.
At first, we just chat. But then.. somehow the chat become more serious, talking about the future (his, not mine), our families and stuffs. And I felt that... he grows on me. Hahaha... So he somehow become my lil bro now, and I'm so happy because of that.

The second one... would be Riri.
Though I chat with her before Noe, but the bond between me and Noe was established first.
Riri almost all the time thinking about one particular butler that she likes, and dream about him. If that's so, in the morning she would text me with: Neeeechaaaaaaaannnn TTwTT
Hahaha... her reaction is cute enough for me to look at and tease :p

The third one would be Risa.
After so long chatting through facebook, PM-ing, twitter, and BB, at last we meet. She is the first one I actually meet in person (I saw Noe, but not in contact with him at that moment).
My first impression of her was... She's pretty, with her eyes like those of cats XD She likes to tease her junior and see the reaction of his, but by doing so, she doesn't realize that her face became very animated and interesting that I just wanna tackle her and bear hug her (Oh.. I hope she won't read this :p)
She helped me doing translation for my fics now.

The fourth one.. Velly
I receive one tweet of her that saying: "can I call you neechan?". We've been contacting through FB and twitter all this time, and suddenly she said that. Lol.. So i guess.. why not? After all, I already got a bunch.

well.. i think there's more.. but as usual, I'm too lazy to type things that is more than 1 page XD
so forgive me for this time.
Perhaps if I want, I will continue to note down my bro-sis again.


Ciao~

Vampire Night : Party Time (Kai) (moved)

I am truly sorry for this inconvenience, but this page is moved to another page

Here's the link to it:

http://purappaff.blogspot.com/2012/09/vampire-night-party-time-kai.html

I'm truly sorry for this. m(_ _)m

Challenge 1: Interview with Riku (moved)

I am truly sorry for this inconvenience, but this page is moved to another page

Here's the link to it:

http://purappaff.blogspot.com/2012/09/challenge-1-interview-with-riku.html

I'm truly sorry for this. m(_ _)m

Vampire Night - Party Time (Shuu) (moved)

I am truly sorry for this inconvenience, but this page is moved to another page

Here's the link to it:

http://purappaff.blogspot.com/2012/09/vampire-night-party-time-shuu.html

I'm truly sorry for this. m(_ _)m

Vampire Night : A Midsummer Party (moved)

I am truly sorry for this inconvenience, but this page is moved to another page

Here's the link to it:

http://purappaff.blogspot.com/2012/09/vampire-night-midsummer-party.html

I'm truly sorry for this. m(_ _)m

Vampire Night (Part 1) : Preparation (moved)

I am truly sorry for this inconvenience, but this page is moved to another page

Here's the link to it:

http://purappaff.blogspot.com/2012/09/vampire-night-part-1-preparation.html

I'm truly sorry for this. m(_ _)m

What Is Your Weakness? - Purrapa Version (Moved)

I am truly sorry for this inconvenience, but this page is moved to another page

Here's the link to it:

http://purappaff.blogspot.com/2012/09/what-is-your-weakness-purrapa-version.html
I'm truly sorry for this. m(_ _)m

Fanfic: The Cat's Curse (moved)

I am truly sorry for this inconvenience, but this page is moved to another page
Here's the link to it:

http://purappaff.blogspot.com/2012/08/fanfic-cats-curse.html

I'm truly sorry for this. m(_ _)m

Fanfic: A Normal Day at Platina Parlour (moved)

I am truly sorry for this inconvenience, but this page is moved to another page

Here's the link to it:

http://purappaff.blogspot.com/2012/08/fanfic-normal-day-at-platina-parlour.html

I'm truly sorry for this. m(_ _)m

Review: Platina Parlour Visit

This supposedly written on the day after I went there.. Too bad I was too sick to even think or write anything after that. I usually didn’t come to those kind of place that felt suffocating, but anyhow I’m glad I did. And yes… This blog originally private. Hahaha.. So… Here goes the story thus far *huh?!*

Maybe you are wondering what is Platina Parlour, lemme give a brief description of what kind of place and event that is. Platina Parlour are an otome game based butler café (don’t ask me what otome game is.. Please google it yourself) that was introduced firstly at an event held in WTC Mangga Dua in Nikuri: Tokyopolis event.

It all started when one day I stumble upon an invitation to an event of Platina Parlour on my FB page. Out of curiosity, I looked to the page, and that basically picked my interest. Forget about all the trivia. I can never remember them anyway I guess, not with all the work things and all in my head (forgive my ignorance). But they succeed to make me wait what kind of butler are there. And each day I looked forward for the revelation of the butler.

Upon seeing the first butler revealed, I thought ‘The one who draw this is really good’. I love the character in an instant (BTW, it was Ken alright). And the demeanor? Enough for me to see who will be the real one. And my wish were answered after a while. But too bad I actually find the drawing was better than the photo of the real butler (I’m truly sorry). The photo of those butler that I love most was… KAI. He got all the image correct like expected. That’s all. Which brings me to decide to see how it will turn out.

At first, I reaaaaaly curious of what kind of concept, the decoration, the food, the service they will give and all that, regarding I love to study about café (based on my own experience of consulting several cafés of my friend and family  ^_^;). And additional to it, I also want to meet all my friends whom I’ve been missing for so long. Glad I made it there at least.  Hehehe…

So… here’s my story goes: (don’t be disappointed coz it’ll be a bit to the ‘professional’ side. I warned you already that I’m not into fangirl-ing stuff)

I did went to the café’s front desk several times, curious of how the reception will be. The table got all the menu stated with price range and gimmicks you will get. A simple one indeed, in regard of all those advertisement (I’d suggest for an upgrade of image later on *wink). Sample of badges are shown too, though they posted it in the web earlier. Cute enough, but I’d want a Platina Parlour logo if they have it. I LOVE their logo. It’s simple, yet enticing.. A key to your heart concept? :D

Well.. I’d expect to go in by myself, but I waited a bit longer for my friends to show up. Perhaps one or some of them will come with me, which they did. We ended up can’t choose the other butler due to the line, so we ended up with KEN, which actually our target initially (Lucky!!!). After some waiting time, the receptionist called upon us and we’re more than ready to get into our own ‘expectation land’

We were greeted by KEN himself with a politeness that surely flattering for some, but not me (Sorry Ken.. I guess I’m too used to it). Seated on the corner of the room, my guy friends surely can see what happened in the café clearly. Too bad we, the girls seated in their front so we can’t really see all that. Well.. I took a glimpse of the butler. Umm.. Not a glimpse alright. A good look of each and every butler. And as expected, KAI is still the one I want to pinch his cheek on. After all, I got this weak spot for chubby cheek.

But what I didn’t expect was…. That KEN was also a ‘megane’ (glasses) kind of person. And in fact, he looked better with glasses on. Hehehe… So the picture in their page, the drawing one is come a bit closer to the actual person. And I mean… in a good way, I like it. KEN was polite and listen well to us, which I felt a bit bad for him coz we ‘kinda’ torture him with our own café knowledge. But what I like from him was that he tried to give us his best service and his eagerness to learn.

One of the scene I remember was when he tried to pour our hot tea, his hand was shaking.

Me: “Heavy?”

Ken: “Yes, I’d never expected this to be heavy, but it is”

Me: “Just take your time”

Ken: “Thank you, miss”

Actually, the conversation was in Indonesian because Ken said “My English is not that good” when I asked him to try talk some line for us in English. I’m imagining him blushing and my heart kinda skipped a beat because of that. He can be such a sweetie. I want him… as a lil brother unfortunately. Hehehe…

There was another scene that occurs after we told him about our though of the café itself, and his experience of doing things. We gave him some suggestion on how to serve better, and this was what happened:

Ken: “Can I give you another refill, Miss?”

Me: (wish I could blush.. I’m such a heavy drinker sometimes) “Yes, please”

Ken: “Wait for a moment, Miss”

He appeared not too long and brought the pot with him.

Ken: “So… how does it goes again? From the right side?”

Me: “Yes, but if it’s difficult, you can always do *this and that (I don’t wanna bore you with this story)*”

And he did it. For several times after we taught him how to do things. And he got a PLUS PLUS PLUS point from me for being such an eager person. I wanna pat him on the head for that.. Teehee..

I remember that when we chatted with each other, laughing at our own jokes, Ken was standing beside our table patiently (poor Ken), while… this is the part I like about him most… he tried to remember all of our suggestion for him to improve himself for better service. Awww… Isn’t he sweet? After all, he’s up to his own standard saying: “Your wish is my command, Milady”. Good job Ken.

We got a Normal Ending in our visit. Mostly because we didn’t come with the mind to finish a game. Totally forgot that. Hehehe :P. It ended with us taking photos with our butler.  Since there were 4 of us, so originally we got 4 slot of photos. And since the guys got no interest to take personal photo with Ken, so we ended up with 1 group photo, 1 girls photo and 2 individual photos. And I’m feeling a bit bad to our lovely butler Ken because we a bit force him to use a Kira Kira Eyes in our group photo. Which turned out… Kawaiiiii~. Ufufufufu….

Ken is pouting coz he seemly can not see well without his glasses.
Nevertheless, he's still cute :))

A cute pose indeed. Saying: Love is in the air
Huehehehe

I can't believe they said he's 179.
He must be closer to 185
with me in my heel and he still taller.

There were other butler too with their own unique characteristics:

Jun: The Head Butler and (apparently) the most favorite (they said). I knew the real Jun, sooo.. I guess if I asked him as my butler, I’d ended up laughing all the time (sorry Jun XD)

Kou: The tsundere type. People usually love this kind of type, especially those who love to fangirling. There are several people that loves to get Kou, but if I would describe him.. I’d say: a deary little KID. This type usually be my object of torture though.. (oops.. there.. there… I said it. Made me wanna pet him. Hohohoho… *evil queen laughter*). I did not really like him though, so… sorry Kou. If there’s another PP event.. and if I manage to get you as my butler, I think it’ll be because of my friend… or You’re the only one that I haven’t picked. But… If you changed into the hottie in the original picture (not your photo) perhaps… I surely will.. Hahaha…

Shuu: This one is a perfect type for shotakon. A bit childish side, but to me? He would definitely get into my chamber of torture.. or if I’m not in the mood, he mostly gonna get my cold shoulder. There was one scene I remember during my visit there where he was being chased by Riku (another butler) and almost literally dragged to the customer’s table while Riku said: “Please take care of him, oujousama.” This scene remind me of a master picking up a cat that being naughty and being held in his collar. Nyahahaha…

Riku: The “Dark Prince” type, almost like Ootori in Ouran Koukou with megane (glasses). My type exactly, but what fun can you have to get the same type as you to serve? A banter of darkness it seems. And a tag team of mischievousness. *evil glint*

Kai: For me, I’d say this is one of cute type. The bright smile and all. And naughty one on top of that. I really can’t believe that he’s a big bro of Kou though. They’re too… different for once. A complete moon if you make them stand side by side. A bright and dark side.

And all this description making me want to write a story of their daily activities… if there is one real café… Gosh… My work is pilling already, so the plan of torture will be held back for now.

Ciao~

Another Post, Another Thought

Well, here I am, writing just out of boredom and I remember that I haven't wrote a single post in this blog this month.. So.. I just don't know what to write today, so I guess I'll just post down a trailer froma movie that I REALLY want to watch this month, "Perahu Kertas"


Dear Neptunus

Aku mencintainya.
Di depannya aku menjadi diriku sendiri
Seperti airmu yang selalu membawa semua pesanku.
Dia pun begitu.

Membuatku hanyut
Oleh sorot matanya
Membuatku lupa oleh kesederhanaan suaranya
Sampai aku tidak bisa katakan apa-apa padanya
Bahkan untuk sekedar bilang "Rindu"...
Atau "Butuh"

Banyak yang ga ngerti
Lalu terluka
Dan saling menyalahkan

Karena itu aku takut bicara tentang hati
Maka kutuliskan saja
Lalu kusimpan
Dan mungkin kukirimkan ke...
Entah kemana.

-taken from Perahu Kertas teaser-

Recap of July 2012

My oh my, time surely flies...

I remember stepping into this month like it was yesterday, but here I am, almost at the end of the month again. Perhaps it was due to lots of activities that I attend to, or works, or I'm just too absent-minded that I just forgot the day goes.

I'm trying to recap my activities this month too, up until today:

Friday, June 29th 2012: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Movie with Dwi Saktie (DS)
I put this one here just for my own reminder when things started.

Cute, isn't he? :p

Monday, July 2th 2012: A shocking yet funny visit from DS
A visit not more than 15 minutes just for.... Hugs. Cute.

Friday, July 6th 2012: Qrei's Birthday
This was an eventful day. Started with a break up of her and her cheating boyfriend, a dinner, Karaoke till the end of the day. And continued to the next day since I have a sleep over at her apartment

Saturday, July 7th 2012: Qrei's Birthday ctd.
Again, another eventful day. Started with blowing another candle (her sister brought another cake), lunch, foot massage, and then a photo session in the karaoke room. Then we changed venue to Hanggar Billiar to meet up with Kanaya and our other friends.

Friday, July 13th 2012: Ice Age 4 3D with Bogel and Dinda

My bf forever

With the beauty :D

Yes. This event was not in my agenda actually, but since I was free in the afternoon so I think, why not. After all, it already weekend. Lovely evening indeed to see one of my best friend again, with Dinda as my new friend can enjoy themselves in each other company :)



Sunday, July 15th 2012:
Act 1: Visiting Neztha at the photo shoot place
What supposed to be a normal photo shoot with the "bikini & lingerie" theme with JSF group, became crazy when both of us 'decided' to go... a bit naughty. What started as a one button off with me, later on became a 5-buttons off (with the help of my best friend). A prank of kissing became a semi-soft porn (IMO). And no. I won't ever upload those photos here. Too dangerous, too naughty. And we never know what will happen to those photos if found by irresponsible people. But there I got new connections, some of them is still in contact with me. Perhaps this is one step for me to get into the industry? We never know.

Act 2: The Amazing Spiderman movie with Wahyu Sury (WS)
It was supposedly my turn to watch that with NC club, but because of the event happened before, I can not even met the guys. T_T... But what seemed a missed occasion, became an eventful opportunity for me to get treated. LOL. Even though I just met WS at the event, we decided to grab a ticket and watched it. A cool movie indeed. Closed it with dinner at one of my father's fave place at Fatmawati, we later on went home... just a bit late.

Monday, July 16th 2012:
Act 1: Lunch treat by Mr. Parluhutan at office
Never promise a treat with me. That's the lesson. I managed to finished the task he gave, so the whole division got to get treated at our mall's food court. Teehee...

The 'bosses'

A very tacky hand-sign, but just a reminder of what to choose at the next JKT governor  election.

Act. 2: Around Jakarta with Indria Djamil (ID) and his so-called-sister-slash-daughter
Well, we supposed to watch Batman, but stupidly it was not the time yet. The movie itself will be on air on the Friday, so... He bought the ticket pronto. We still met at the Rendezvous Point, but then he take a turn toward Gading to pick a damsel in distress, and later on dinner at Sushi Tei Grand Indonesia. Ooops.. Forgot to mention dropping the damsel at her place somewhere near Kota. Yeah... a trip from Depok-South-North-Central-back to South again.


Tuesday, July 17th 2012: A visit from WS
He BBM me, asked me for a juice, but I somewhat avoiding it by saying I was on my way back home (which was true). Yet he took a turn, and voila... popped up in front of my place, and later on took me to Kopitiam Oey nearby.

Wednesday, July 18th 2012: A not-so-surprise visit from ID
Yes. He came to my working place.. Mind you that I worked at a mall, so... He wasn't actually get into my office, but at the vicinity of it. This visit brings a suspicion in me...


Friday, July 20th 2012: Batman: Dark Knight Rises movie with ID
Well, as it said. A movie with a man I just met... 2.. no.. 3 times with this one in. Went to his house (again), and had a very late supper at a Shisha Cafe at Kemang. The food? Don't ask. I got a bad experience eating the one that said red bean soup.. Remind me to not ever order that again at ANY shisha cafe.The garlic is just.. unbearable... hiiiii... :shiver:

Saturday, July 21st 2012: Open-fast at Kanaya's Place (Casablanca Mansion)
It was supposedly an event to open fasting on the first day, but.. None of us are really fasting. hahaha... In the end, we eat, drink a lil wine and alcohol, dance (Yes.. I learned that Salsa is a VERY sexy dance). Hope I could get my hand on one of the video later on to post it here. And photos too. I haven't moved the photo file from my pocket up until now.. Lazy me...

And here comes the photos...

A Toast for Health (poor Mbah DK who took the pic :p)

Up next:
Saturday, July 28th 2012: Taman Muara Angke Mangrove Forest & Lake with Dinda, Naning, Apank, Iko & Jonah
This event supposedly took place at Kebun Raya Bogor, but due to Dinda's condition we were changing the venue to this place.


Kinda full month for me. But I expect more to come in the latter days.

Ciao for now.
AASK

A Decade Metamorphosis

Yes, this post is to remind me that I'm still young, and carefree.. Just like I was 10 years ago. My smile still carefree, and I love to see my smiling face. I hope that this will always remind me in another decade to always smile and be happy. That no matter what happen in my life, that too will pass, and I will be left behind with my smile.

No matter how bad the situation I'm facing, or will be facing in the future, for as long as I remember to smile and not make those things burdened me too much, I, hopefully can create another decade metamorphosis photos.

(Almost) End of June 2012

Back again with me....

After a while of not writing (and realize that this is NOT the only post of the month), I'm back again with my own life writing.

As I cruised down the road with my transport (public one, mind you), I suddenly realized that the end of the month is coming near. And that also this year already down by half. Yet, what have I accomplished all this time? A half year time is not a short time, yet it feels like it was yesterday that I decided to at least write this blog frequently. And yes, I met the goal up until this moment. Yay for me... A pet on my shoulder if you want to :)

This month is quite hectic for me. I'm trying to jot it down here:
Week 1. A reflection of my own relationship
 Yea.. It sucked. I tried to remember when was the last time 'he' contacted me, and being sweet. And the answer, up until today, I'm still lost but I decided not to care about it anymore.I decided that he's not worth of my time and concern. A struggling week indeed for me after knowing all the deceptiveness, the lying, the relationship he had with another girl lest it was an affair or not. And we're going on to another day....

Week 2. Collecting the crumble

After passing a hellish week of work and down-time, it's time for me to reflect a bit deeper. And collecting myself back. No. Actually I'm not crumbling. I just hurt. That's all. But I got a plan, and I bring it on to a successful mission. I dumped him with dignity, though I don't really care what he think of me anymore. I wished him happiness and blessing. And I got to know my caring friends. They supported me and told me over and over again that he's not worth my tears, my thought, anything from me. So I did that.

Week 3. Dusting up.

I'm back to the life of a single lady. Not that it got any different than the one I had with him, but the thing I missed most perhaps was our flirting time through messages. And that's all. At this time, I realized another thing again. That I was not ready yet for another relationship, and that's why I can gathered myself quick enough.
He contacted me again just to warn me not to be involved in his life and his 'girlfriend' (which I actually doubted, but nonetheless, they flirt and he use her photo as his BB ID whereas he never did it when he was with me)... Also there is another time when he contacted me just to tell me he got into an accident and that he was alone at home. A background song is heard through my ear "Only When You're Lonely".. Yes.. I decided that he only remember me only at that miserable time of his.

Week 4. Recalling happiness

Oh well... Here I am, in the almost end of this week, writing up my own life story for a month worth. A hectic week indeed which makes my head wanna blow up, with all the assignment, all the problem at work, while on the same hand, I noticed a pattern of him. Yes.. Moving on is not in my dictionary yet for now, but I just wanna make sure of things first. And yes, I think I got his MO already because of the intensive chat he got with his 'closer' one.
A problem arise at work on Monday, and I thought I will be "out" from this place ASAP. But the management said just yesterday that they will overlook this problem, once. For me, it was some sort of saying, 'Why don't I try to find another job from now?'
Mistakes and I never combine well. When I made mistakes, it always means that I already met my time limit there, and that I'm already sick of being there.

My next agenda: Holding on this job till December, while trying to find another job. I prefer to go out of this country. It's just because I want to see the world, and experiencing things.

So, now I'm grateful for all the journey I had this month, and I can hardly wait for next month to come for I know I will be a better woman by then.

_AS_

Slipped Sand

I just want to thank you
Thank you for reminding me of what I am
Thank you for introducing me to the feeling of love again
Thank you for igniting the fire within me again
And the fire that I thought I lost

I realize that I can't be the one for you
I realize that I can't be the last for you too
But I never regret any single time we spend together
And the memories of those days spent

I learned that I'm too childish
I learned that I'n not as mature as I wanted to be
But I took the lesson and memorized it
And it will be for a better me

You are a sand that just escaped through my fingers
Just because I hold it too tight
Instead of just let it slide
To follow the wind

Yet somehow I know
You're not mine
And I'm not yours
Our journey hasn't end

I will hold this experience deep in my heart
So when the time come for both of us
We can say to each other
"We've did this and we passed it brilliantly"

Please be true to me
As I be true to you
I will always care for you
My dearest friend.

The Climb

My second song lyrics... It somehow boost my mood. Perhaps I can tell things with this song.

"The Climb" by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Tell Me lyrics

I usually don't post up a lyric of a song, but this kinda reflect what I'm feeling about relationship right now.
This is Tell Me song by Carly Rae Jepsen




Tell me
Baby is it yes or no
you've got a face that just don't show
what's going on inside

Tell me
I swear I'll take it on the chin
don't sugar-coat where I fit in
what's going on
Inside you there's a room,
A room with a door
I finally come knocking
And I've been here before
Oh I've got this love for you
But what is if for
If you can't hear me then

Tell me
Last chance
Hold me in your arms and say
if you want this love to walk away
Tell me and I'll say goodbye

Inside you there's a room,
A room with a door
I finally come knocking
And I've been here before
Oh I've got this love for you
But what is if for
If you can hear me then

I'll make it easy
I'm counting to 3
Am I something you want or
someone you need?

Tell me that you want me,
tell me that you love me, baby

Tell me that you want me tell
me that you love me

Just tell me that you
want me, tell me that you love me

Tell me, darling won't you tell me
I'm begging you to tell me,
Tell me and I'll say goodbye

Drift Apart

So plans don’t go the way we like them to,
'Cause now I’m sick of all the things you do.
While every word you say now leaves a bruise,
We break apart as you now light the fuse

I want to say it’s all your fault again,
To lay my weight on you and watch you bend,
But blaming you will only leave me tears,
And plus I need you now to ride these years,

So we’re walking now with arms apart,
About to drift away with puzzled hearts.
I’m losing you, and soon you’ll disappear.
I see it all unwinding now, right here.

Don’t make me cry, if you decide to leave,
To realize we weren’t meant to be.
Don’t make me wish I had still stayed behind,
To gain a friend but to then lose my mind.

May 2012

Hey, I'm back after a while

Days seems to go back very fast these days, but very slow too at the same time. When you're working toward a goal, the days are running with you, if not even faster. After you kinda achieve it, the days are just relaxing itself and doesn't even bother you who want to make things faster too. Also, when you're waiting for something to happen, the days just... stretch itself to what looks like an infinity and beyond.

Well... I'm just trying to fill in the blank for this month's end as I promised myself.

Ciao for now.. Too many things on mind, but I can't seem to express it in a good way.

I'm Sorry and I love You

Provided that my status intrigued some people of the usage of those 2 sentences, i put an assumption that most people agree with what i was saying. "I'm sorry" and "I love you" are two words that supposed to switch place in term of saying it. It is really hard to say "I'm sorry" when we're supposed to, and it's very easy to say "I love you" when you're not supposed to.

As a child, we are often taught by our parents to say "I'm sorry" when we're at fault. But as we grow old, those words become harder and harder to say in appropriate moment. Experience said that it becomes harder when the one being faulted is our loved ones. Why? I think, it's because we know we're hurting the other party and feeling very guilty to even say I'm sorry. Perhaps because we know that the word itself won't sufficient enough to cure the already hurting heart.

But the feeling will gnawed you from inside and kills you slowly, that the longer you say it, the harder it will become. So, when is the right time to say it then? There is no exact time for it. For me, as long as you said it, no matter how hard it is, you will eventually be forgiven. At least, God will see your sincerity. Well, advice is, if you don't want to say sorry, then don't do things you will be sorry for. Easy to say, very hard to do indeed.

As for the other saying, we're often to say "I love you" too easily. I'm not saying it's not good to say it often to express yourself, but please bear in mind if that person is worthy of that word or not. God want us to love one another as brothers and sisters, yes He did. But most of the times, we make the word itself sound very cheap. When you're saying it to our family, it will become treasure. But to other people? We never know. It might become treasure, or we're just laying our heart on the table to be slaughtered upon. It's just a mere bet.

I just can suggest this for the "love" word. It is indeed such a beautiful word, a powerful one you might say. But that is also a double-edged sword. If you want to say it, please do so. But make sure the other person does feel the same in order for you not hurt yourself. There is no other devastating feeling than loving someone who doesn't love you equally.

These two sentences can have big impact. When someone are at fault at you and say sorry, just tell them you love them to forgive them. And when someone love you dearly, tell them you love them too. And when you're at fault, never hesitate to say sorry before it gets harder to.

That's all for now.

Have a nice day.

Expectation

Well, we almost reach the end of April, and as I promised myself, I write another piece to end this month.

This month is kinda hectic for me, what's with all the new program being installed and whatsoever, and my expectation is that we can run it by May 2012. But unfortunately, due to certain circumstances, the plan will be dragged out till, perhaps June. But fortunately, I got this team that becoming solid each day, and the place seems more... conducive, lest with the 2 people that just seemed like cannot like me at all. And they're of other department, so... whatever.

About life, nothing special. Just try to enjoy my daily kinda boring life with no special social thing on hand. I really need to find a community of my own, but with my air-headed attitude? I guess it'll be kinda hard to tell. After all, being in a community kinda requires you to be a bit more active than you should be, in order for them to accept you and make you feel comfortable. Sigh.

About love... It's a bit hard to say. We faced another problem. And it's my mistake. Though I apologized and we're in a good term again, I keep feeling that there won't be another chance of me being forgiven if this continue. So I learn to hold myself back a bit more. But which part of me that need to hold back? *I feel like crying while writing this. I miss him too much*
I tried to understand his busy schedule. But he just can't find anytime for me. I know I'm complaining, but who else read this blog except me? Nobody even come here, so I'm free to express myself. And this blog is the truth that I've been holding down from people, for I'm scared to hurt them. Well, the fact that it hurts me does matter, but it's me or them. And I prefer to sacrifice myself. A bad move indeed, but at least I won't live with a guilty feeling to others. This is my consequences of deciding to go out with him. Sometimes he's just make my heart goes, 'Awwww', but perhaps most of the times he's just irritates me. Just because he prefer to spend his time with his beloved cousin. Or work. or club friends. Why? Coz there's no me. And it seems he just can't see me in his life. Or is this is just my thinking? I hope so.

Well, the gloom me is somehow gone now after I'm trying to be lovey-dovey and keep my positivity intact... Negativity is just like a nasty virus, isn't it? But the thing that I actually want to write about is about excitement and disappointment.

Those two relate each other like such symbiosis that I forgot the name (better to find it after this). Whenever we keep our excitement for something relating other people, somehow in the end we sort of forced to swallow a bitter pill of disappointment. No matter how small or big it is the excitement. I'm writing this based on my own experience and bitterness towards life you can say. Sometimes I just feel like running away from everyone, or just die. But I can't find the courage to die yet, prematurely. But I also need people to be by my side. And no one can do that perfectly too like I want it. So, again, I have to eat those bitter pill like an addict.

Oh well, enough succumbing. I don't want to spoil my positive energy trying to cheer myself up. After all, the task is seems harder to do than cheering others.

Ciao for now~